Day Twenty-Nine of Self-Love Challenge


“Never put the key to happiness in someone else’s pocket”

“Remember when you forgive, you heal. And when you let go, you grow”

Throughout this challenge I have learned the most important relationship is the one with myself. There is a direct correlation between loving myself and my happiness. I cannot expect to experience happiness if I don’t first love and accept myself regardless of my flaws or the aspects of myself I don’t feel comfortable with. Happiness can’t be found in the future or in the past but in the now. You cannot control the exterior world or situation although you can control your reaction to it. You cannot be dependent on outside sources such as relationships to derive happiness because they’re ever changing. Knowing that you’ve be authentic, honest, and true to yourself in your actions and words is all you can control.

I believe in being honest and loving towards others but that doesn’t mean I will accept disrespectful behavior. I believe in setting limits. I don’t believe in compromising myself in the process of loving another.

Acceptance of my current situation has helped me alleviate the pressure I used to feel to be perfect/to have everything together. Once you’ve accepted where you are in life and you don’t like it, you have the opportunity to change it.

Forgiveness is a process. When you think of the betrayal you relive the pain it caused you. Reliving the pain is counterproductive and only makes you miserable. Forgiveness means to me that I forgive myself for not knowing, realizations are always easy in hindsight. Forgiving the betrayer doesn’t mean you have to allow them back into your life, it simply means he/she no longer has power over you, you no longer relive that mean you just let it go permanently.

Acceptance and forgiveness had liberated me from the pressures I used to feel. Happiness comes more naturally to me. It doesn’t mean I’m walking around with a smile or I’m giddy all day, it simply means I don’t dwell on the negative and I don’t give power to those negative thoughts. I still have bad days where the negative thoughts seem to have won out over the positive ones and I stew in self-pity. But I usually wallow in self-pity for too long because I’ve been changing and challenging my previous thoughts.

I want to live life without drama or negativity. At my age I’m still young but I’m old enough and have enough life experience that I seek peace always. It’s not worth it to be miserable daily. Change is always going to be difficult but change is also necessary for growth. I want to live in peace and love and I refuse to compromise myself. God Bless you!

Artwork credit – “La Comtesse de Beaussier” and “Portrait of Madame Charton-Demeur” both by Edouard Louis Dubefe

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