Throughout my life I can say I’ve been through a lot for someone of my age. I continue to love others but cannot allow myself to feel the love of others perhaps it’s all the pain I have seen as a nurse….the pain of watching someone die weighs on me. I will not say how many deaths I have been present for because the numbers are shocking however there is a common theme. We will all die that is a certainty none of us can escape. I want to trust that life will work out. I want to trust again and love again without the walls I have built up in my heart.